What if they gave a war and nobody showed up?

This is actually pretty amusing--a certain fifth-tier radical-right-wing webcartoonist has formally "declared war" on me, whatever that means.

I only know of this particular troglodyte's existence because, back in the day, he used to hang out on the Ozy and Millie mailing list, spewing homophobic bile and insulting people; he was eventually banned for making crude threats of physical violence against various list members (in hindsight I can't believe I was as patient with his temper tantrums as I was).

Of course, it takes two to have a war, and other than this post I intend to ignore him entirely. As Liberal Seagull once told me, when I was weighing a response to an even more mindless verbal assault, "don't get into a mud wrestling match with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it."

But I can't resist quoting this bit:

D.C. Simpson, militant liberal, left-wing propagandist, slanderer and libeler, had the immense misfortune one night to be the one who pushed my ire at liberal malfeasance over to critical mass. He will not be the only one to get the sharp edge of my tongue, but he will be the first.

Yes, you read that correctly. This raving homophobe just announced his intention to give me tongue. Sorry, man, I'm taken, and you're really not my type.

Some day I hope to get some better enemies, but to get to being called out by the O'Reillys of the world, I guess you must first be spat at by the lowest of the trolls.